I remember an interview of Karan Johar by Sapan Verma a few years ago when he was asked to name the funniest person in Bollywood, and Karan immediately named Javed Akhtar. That seemed a little odd to me at that time, I mean great lyrics, certainly, masterfully crafted screenplays to perfection, absolutely, but funniest? I couldn’t really grasp Javed Sahab, with all his meticulously crafted words, also making the funniest jokes in the world.
That Javed Sahab is a sorcerer of words is known to all, but one of the best examples of his amusing humor was reflected when he outshined three seasoned comedians in a podcast. And as fate would have it, it was Sapan Verma’s podcast.
When I delved into the rabbit hole of his interviews and discovered what storytelling prowess decades of life and wisdom of words you can produce: it’s as if even when he’s not penning it down, he is writing the most scrupulous ensemble of words ever written. When he is not making his listeners mesmerized by his poetry, he’s presenting life lessons and allegories of the contemporary world with his signature cheeky humor. Though a master of words, Javed Akhtar is the epitome of how one can tell the most profound things in the simplest manner.
Here’s a list of the interview moments of Javed Akhtar that not only are the best philosophical advice on life but feel like they are adopted from the best screenplay ever written by Salim-Javed. Aise hi ‘Jadu’ thodi na bulaate hai unko.
1. When asked about the importance and role of art in society
“You must have heard so many people talk about saving the tiger. Have you ever heard, “Stop fishing?” Fishing is supposed to be some kind of entertainment in tranquility. No violent sound…Gentle hai. The fisherman starts skinning the fish with a blunt knife. Nobody calls it sadistic, inhuman, or cruel. There’s only one reason- a fish doesn’t have a vocal cord. It’s the reason it doesn’t shriek. Art, literature, and poetry are the vocal cords of society. It depicts the collective aspiration, sorrow, deprivation, and hope. Your silence is their tranquility.”
2. Talking about his days of struggle: what hunger and sleep deprivation taught him
“Agar aapko deprivation hai neend aur bhook ka, toh kahin na kahin aap pe aisa mark chodd ke jaayega ki aap bhul nahin sakte. Abhi main jaata hu bade bade 5 star hotels mein, suites hai bade bade, double beds bade bade, unpe main let ta hu kabhi, toh main yaad karta hu ki jab main third class compartment mein aaya tha Bombay, aur 2 din ki journey hoti thi and there was no place to sit, matlab kandha teekane ki jagah nahin hoti thi, I remember how I was deprived of sleep, and how tired I was. Itni jagah uss din mil jaati.Abhi subah trolley pe naasta aata hai, breakfast- butter, jam aur half fried egg, aur coffee. Teri awkad!”
You don’t see Javed Sahaab fumble often, but you can really see the emotional side of him in this.
3. Javed Sahaab’s biggest flex- a book with Faiz’s autograph
From all the accolades possible that involve putting pen to paper to all the love in the world, Javed Sahaab probably has everything one can ask life for, but while showing the interviewer the book of Faiz carrying his signature, you can distinctly see the pride and cheekiness in his expressions.
“Ye dekhiye aapko ek cheez dikhata hu, thoda aap logon ko impress karu. Ye hai Faiz ka autograph, “Jadu miyan ke liye mohabbat se, Faiz”. Kya samajhti hai aap!”
4. When asked about the role of profane language in comedy
“Odisha, Bihar or Mexico, anywhere in the world where there’s a party, people eat a lot of chili because the food is bland. So just to get some taste, they eat chili. Gaali is the chili of language, if you can speak good language and if you are witty enough, you don’t need this chili.”
5. About learning from the younger ones
“Generation gap comes when you think that everyone who was born after you has less intelligence and less sensibility than you, but at the same time, everybody born before you doesn’t have the privilege, he is not wiser than you. You are the centre.“
6. When he told us to not fall into the trap of self-pity
“Jaise apni kamyaabi pe, daulat pe, shauhrat pe ghamand nahin karna chaahiye, ussi tarah se apni nakamiyon pe bhi ghamand nahin karna chaahiye. Hum kya karte hai ki jo humare nakamiyaan, zakhm, dard hai unko hum medal banake lagaa lete hai. Aur kehte hai ki dekho hum pe kya kya guzri hai, toh khabardaar humse kuch kaha tumne, tumhe maalum hai maine kya kya dekhaa hai zindagi mein…karodo log hinge jo inhi haalat mein honge. Toh ye koi unsual baat nahin hai jispe itna naaz kiya jaaye.”
7. When he made the fine line between self-respect and arrogance look so distinct
“Difference between self-respect and arrogance, main aapko ek simple tarkeeb, ek litmus test batata hu. Self-respecting aadmi apni ego bade aadmi ke saamne rakhta hai, arrogant aadmi apni ego chhote aadmi ke saamne rakhta hai. A self-respecting man is tolerant towards a weak person, but an arrogant man is intolerant of the weak and submissive in front of the strong. Self-respect ka aapka test kamzor ke saath thodi hi hai, self-respect ka test powerful ke saath hai.”
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C-epCQiI45p/?igsh=MmZnNmxvbXdycHc3
8. When he decoded why Amitabh Bachchan is the biggest superstar ever
“Amitabh Bachchan ban na badaa mushkil kaam hai, ek toh aap itne talented, disciplined, focused aur baat cheet mein utne samajhdaar ho jitne ki wo hain. Unke jabaan se galat baat nahin nikalti hai. Kabira khadaa bazaar mein maange sabki khair, na kaahu se dosti na kaahu se bair…Toh itni mehnat itne talent aur lagan ke saath ho toh aadmi Amitabh Bachchan bane.”
When Javed Sahaab speaks, it feels like words were created at a point in time so that they could flow to the command of his wand.