“Yaar, ab toh teri shaadi ho gayi. Ab toh life khatam!“
Oddly enough, I’ve heard newlyweds being informed about their life getting khatam much more often than congratulatory messages for the new life ahead.
But then, in India, shaadi is always considered barbaadi and the end of aazaadi, right?
For a country that’s busy propagating marriage to anyone and everyone who’s willing to hear, why is it that Indians consider marriage the end of the world?
It’s like, take all the holidays you want before you’re getting married. Work as hard as you can before you take the saat-pheras. And party every Saturday night before you’re hitched because once you’re taken, life can never be fun.
But who’s to say whether married life is like a Saturday night or a Monday morning?
It could be either. Or, it could be both!
For the average Indian, whether it is love or arranged, marriage happens after a certain age.
By the time our parents question us, “Beta, shaadi kab karoge?“, we’re earning a certain amount and living a certain kind of life.
And for us, it’s time for marriage only when we’ve done everything else. Travel, work, party, yada yada.
As they say, it isn’t just a wedding, it’s settling down.
When did a marriage certificate become a jail order?
Why have we come to associate a married human being to someone who has no desires and no ambitions except for getting the bread home and raising kids?
As a married man or woman, you can certainly have goals in life. And without a doubt, you can go about achieving them.
Whether it is that promotion you desire or that sky-diving holiday you’d like to go for, you can do that, even after you’re married.
A marital status doesn’t deter you from anything. What deters you instead is your own state of mind.
I know many couples who’re busy having the time of their life after marriage.
They work at reputed organisations, host the most lavish parties and take annual holidays. Some of them have kids too and together, they make for a lovely family.
Their wedding vows have never come in the way of them having fun. As their friend, I can certainly vouch for that!
The problem arises only when we start thinking way too much about the added ‘responsibilities’ that marriage brings along. Yes, there is a certain maturity you need and certain additional responsibilities that you have to shoulder.
But no way are those responsibilities so life altering that you have to bid good-bye to having a life!
If done in the right spirit, the start of a marriage can signal the beginning of an even better time.
You have a constant companion for everything.
From grabbing a drink post work to going for a holiday, do it with your husband or wife. Walk into your friend’s party with a steady date. Host lunches and dinners with the meticulous planning of not just one but two masterminds instead.
Marriage doesn’t change you as a person. It gives you a person to share your life with. And that includes all the good, fun things as well.
To all those thinking about getting married, don’t take it as the end of good times.
You don’t have to hang up your boots and sit at home on a Saturday evening. Neither do you have to give up on the idea of buying your dream car.
You can still dream, still fly.
Only now, you’ll have someone joining you on the ride!