UPSC Aspirant’s Rant On Losing Friends & Confidence Preparing For The Exam Is One Harsh Truth

Harshita Singh

Cracking the UPSC exam is one of the most coveted and respected things a person can accomplish in our country, but it is an incredibly difficult journey! And not just in terms of the studying, but the amount of things one has to sacrifice in order to be able to focus and excel in the competition. 

In fact, this Reddit user’s rant about how he has lost self confidence, friends and compromised on his health in order to crack UPSC seems to affirm this sad reality. 

Many people came forward to share advice and console the OP. It seems a lot of other Reddit users who once attempted the exam have had similar experiences. From being told that this is the harsh reality of working at cracking UPSC, to being wished good luck so that the OP clears the exam this time around, here’s how netizens responded. Read on: 

1. “Me after reading this be like…. Who gave someone right to publish my story. I am in a similar situation, I cracked Pre once in 2020 but couldn’t in 2021.This is a tough exam to crack man I knew it before I started the preparation. This exam demands sacrifices of your comfort zone for most of us. IDK sometimes it feels like we are stagnant and the world is moving ahead in their life but it’s like I knew some of these things are going to happen and I am still trying to go strong, you can too bro. It’s good you have decided to give it one more shot. 2023 will probably be my last attempt too. Let’s give it a shot once again and crack it. Cheers and best of luck.”

– Dreavy_Hinker

2. “Bhai main bhi tere saath hi hu. DTU CS 2020. Didn’t take an internship nor a job. I was dead set on UPSC since my 3rd year. Failed Pre 20. Gave Mains 21 – was rejected horribly (in UP Mains too). Now gearing up for 2nd Mains. Initially, planned for 3 attempts and now it feels I am getting sucked in to the UPSC quagmire. 2023 probably last hoga. Fir back to the tech sector. Can fully relate with you two guys. Frustration of sitting at home for so long, missing by marginal marks is really depressing.”

– yb98

3. “Same bhai I am going to be 25 in the coming months. All my friends have nice settled jobs now. Koi CA ban gya, koi IIM se MBA karke McKinsey mein hai, koi Google mein achhi post pe hai. When we meet sometimes, I feel I am left behind but they never let me feel down and try to keep me motivated. let’s see where life takes us, keep working hard brother. Cheers.”

– Dreavy_Hinker

4. “I had the same story. I got my old job back and I am slogging again. I dropped out of IIT MTech for this. If UPSC is a chakravyuh, I am Abhimanyu. I’ll keep trying for the exam until I run out of attempts.”

– DreadAndDepression

5. “Until and unless bahut jyada academically talented ho you are not cracking this. This is just an overhyped job for all the wrong reasons as only a few people will think to serve the nation and most are just there to fill their pockets up and trust me on this one as I belong to a family who has people in the IAS, IPS, IFS, IRS and State Services. When you are going for such exams your self esteem will hit rock bottom. 

Because ek baar kisi bhi level par fail hogay toh sab shuru se karna padega. No matter how positive you are, kahin na kahin yeh mental health ko effect karta hai. Girl friend ka kuchh ho hi nai sakta as ugly hu and mota bhi hoon. I lost all my friends and I don’t even go to any family functions. Lastly, I will say iss job ko lekar India me kaafi misconceptions hain. And with time, I know most of generation Z iss line mein nahi aaegi as unko bhi pata hai how hectic this is. Videos dekh ke pump up mat hua karoIsko wahi log try karein who are very serious ke wo kar sakte hain and are academically very gifted.

– JustforThrowawayKEK

6. “Hath mila vaai, idhar 3 attempt chale gaye.

– Andhainsaan

7. “I’m trying to get over this misery and had my official joining after 2.5 years of unemployment.”

– Immediate_Arm_9365

8. “I was in the same boat about 12 years ago. Cracked Pre once, but this feeling that the world is moving forward, and I am stuck after a thing that might not ever happen made me sick. I left the chase and moved into designing, then marketing. All the mugging of useless GS facts and history lessons come handy now, that experience helps in dealing with tricky clients. I don’t regret the decision of preparing for UPSC, and I don’t regret the decision of leaving that chase either. If you are looking for a suggestion, my two cents would be to continue your struggle if YOU want it. Don’t remain in it for your family, relatives, friends, cat, and so on. If you want it, stay in it, it’s worth it whether you get it or not.”

– amitc4d

9. “IAS ban ne me jo baal safed ho jaate hai uska kya? I have a friend who has been preparing for 6 years now. 6.”

– dontknowum

10. “As an RBI aspirant, I share the same story like yours man. Bohot mehnat hai in sab exams mein.”

– maverick54050

11. “Han bhai, set a deadline and move on. This job is not worth compromising your life for. There are far too many deserving candidates and far too few seats. Bohot saare achhe logo ka katega. Plus the weird thing about this exam is that you have to be in a very narrow window of being an ambivert. Kyunki extrovert log pagal ho jaenge ek room mein reh ke, aur introvert log interview me hag denge..”

– slowtalker420

12. “Considering the selection rate is less than 1%. Don’t really stress that much. Social isolation happens whenever you set out to do something great (UPSC is just one of those things). So embrace it, People who can work by themselves and maintain their sanity do really well in life. Just have an ‘end year’ in mind, for eg: “I will attempt UPSC until 2024 only, This will give you an end date for your UPSC journey. If you clear it great, If you don’t, just start applying again to companies/startups. Startups look for ex-UPSC aspirants as they have a lot to prove and an extreme drive to learn and don’t mind working long hours. I had 4 ex-UPSC aspirants in my last company. They were doing pretty great and getting recognition for their work. So the end result is good either way.”

– shubhamgirdhar92

Wise advice from so many people! Only the aspirants for such exams know how many things need to be sacrificed or bumped down on the priority list. 

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