When it comes to men in India, let’s just say they’re too many and everywhere! So, why should Tinder be any different? It has every type of guy you’re likely to come across in real life, but you probably wouldn’t because how much can you actually explore out there? Might as well have a little virtual fun for a change!
So, here’s a piece for all the ladies who’re on/ plan to join Tinder. If you’ve been on Tinder you’d know these to be true. And if you haven’t, word of advice: Match wisely!
1. Mr Check Out My Selfies
This guy might or might not have a bio substantiating his self-obsession (or ego), but nonetheless will expect you to swipe right. Why? Well, look how efficient he is at clicking selfies! Aww!
2. Mr Look At The Number Of Babes I’m With In Every Pic
I wonder what he’s doing on Tinder? Pretending to be Hugh Hefner? Or declaring to the world that he’s been friend-zoned by the ladies? Most of his photos are with a lot of women. Or a couple of pals, and more women. We get it you’re a ladies’ man . We don’t want to swipe right and join the club!
3. Mr I-Hit-The-Gym-More-Than-Required
Biceps. Check. Triceps. Check. Abs. Check. Uhm, wait, where’s the face? But, you still have the option of swiping right, you know.
4. Mr Cheesy Flirt
“You look a lot like my next girlfriend. Wanna meet?” Eh, naaat happening! Flirting is good. Healthy, even. However, let’s just devise a line between flirting and creeping the girl out, can we? Swipe south-west!
5. Mr Judge-Me-By-This-Poster-Not-My-Face
Well, this guy is probably really low on self-esteem (I could be wrong) or way too mysterious. And while his bio would say “how can you judge me based on a couple of photos? Swipe right and know more”, you’d be left confused, because why would you join Tinder if you don’t like being judged? If I could rename Tinder, I’d call it ‘The JudgeMe App’.
6. Mr Faceless
This guy is probably an optimist. Why else would he think you’d swipe right on a no-face profile? Or he has an irresistible bio (hard to come across). You’ll never solve the mystery behind him until you match, and if you match, well, he just owned ya, curious kitty !
7. Mr Wannabe Poet
His poems will put Keats to shame! Seriously, the metaphors, the expression, the words, they’re all meant to enchant you out of your wits. Don’t believe me? Take a look:
8. Mr You’re My First Match
He’ll leave no opportunity to text you and his second sentence would probably be “Tinder notifications suck. Can we talk somewhere else?” just because you didn’t reply instantly! And while he wouldn’t ask you to meet right away, it’s definitely on the cards. After all, you know you’re the only one
9. Mr We Can Lie About Where We Met
ALARM: LEFT! LEFT! LEFT! This one’s a clear wuss. If you swipe right, so are you!
10. Mr One Who Stalks You On Facebook
You haven’t spoken to him yet (or probably sparked a hi) or might have even swiped left while you were at it but hey look, a friend request on Facebook! Creep alert! Also the stalk might follow hate comments. Be careful!
11. Mr Shady
Okay, so he may not be all that shady but no matter what he says, you simply cannot trust him. It’s not like you won’t try, you will. But eh, can’t dismiss the shady aura, can we? For all we know he could be a serial killer! #JustSaying
12. Mr One Who ONLY Wants To Hook Up
This type comes with a subtle lingo. You’ll probably have to read between the lines to understand. But the fact remains: He only wants to hook up! He really has no time to talk. And might be pretty open about it. Completely your call on this one!
13. Mr Who You ONLY Want To Hook Up With. Just Hook Up!
Well, ‘pretty face with no brains’ isn’t just a saying for women! For those of us who’d rather go with the physique, you know what you’ve got to do! And of course, the ‘beauty with brains’ is always welcome, right?
14. Mr One You Never Meet, Only Text.
Because he probably is out of town, or due to some Tinder fuck up, matched with you from somewhere over the rainbow, who knows? You might like texting him but you wonder why the fuck you guys have matched and why he won’t propose to meet, if at all? Unmatch if it’s absolutely pointless!
15. Mr One Who Won’t Interact With You But Send Plenty Of ‘TINDER MOMENTS.’
And those are basically his vella free time selfies, “look at my body” selfies and what not! Somebody ought to educate him a little on the concept of Tinder.
16. Mr One Swiping In XYZ City.
For starters, this person has paid to change his location settings for such ‘privileges’. He’s probably chilling at some beach in Australia but wants to match with women from your city. Some would say, “how convenient!” I’d say swipe left.
17. The One You’ve Friend-Zoned.
Well, some guys are just lovely to chat with but you simply cannot/ don’t want to date them. The only downside is that the guy might just be into you…
18. Mr Shit! I Know This Guy!
You know him. In fact, you probably know him too well. Then you see him on Tinder and you’re just like:
Match if you both want to get awkward together!
19. And finally, Mr One Who’s Acing Tinder and has you hooked for all the right reasons!
He’s also the most genuine guy you’ve matched with. In fact, you wish every guy on Tinder was just like him. His profile is clear, crisp and indicative of the kind of person he truly is and he’s not just about his pictures/bio. He’s playing all the cards right and you might just find yourself falling head over heels for this one. We find love in hopeless places after all! Tinder is probably just the first step!
